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Jo Dee (Jodee)
| | Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 01:34 pm: |     |
“Three mistakes parents often make because they don't take the time to understand the developmental needs of children: 1) they often make demands which their young cannot possibly meet, 2) they fail to set down consistent requirements which children can and should fulfill, and 3) they do not provide or allow for creative activities which may be different yet appropriate for their ages."
What more can you say? When I read this, I thought right away of newly married women. They make demands their husbands cannot possibly meet (they expect their husband to read their mind to know what they need), they fail to set down consisten requirements (they always change their mind as to what their requirements are, and again, their husband has to read their mind about this, too), and they do not provide or allow for creative activities (they expect their husband to always be with them and do what they want to do.)
Remember, your children are people, too! They are not little copies of you and enjoy or are able to do everything you do.
What more could I add to such a wonderful description of a great section of the book?
Jo Dee |
Susan (Susan)
| | Posted on Sunday, September 08, 2002 - 08:44 am: | |
Dear Friends,
The third section of the manual is the Preschool section. Many people who are unfamiliar with the Moores' books are amazed that this would be included, because they have heard that the Moores don't advocate schooling before the age of 8-10, so they assume that the Moores wouldn't have much to say about preschool or kindergarten. They couldn't be more wrong!
The preschool section of the Manual is divided into two parts, and we will cover them both here, as they are rather short, but should generate a lot of discussion.
Those of you without toddlers and preschoolers, please don't feel this section is not for you! It is your opportunity to give the rest of us some much needed Titus Two advice! [Titus 2:4-5 reads, "{Older Women} can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the word of God]. So we humbly sit at your feet, and ask that you help us to correctly "love our children"...
So that said, what does the Moore Manual say about preschool?
Preschool 101
The main objective is OBEDIENCE. We set the tone by living a consistent life, which shows our children we are under the control of our Heavenly Father. We demonstrate reasonableness, patience, kindness, thoughtfulness (gee...sounds like the fruits of the Spirit, doesn't it!). Our children are thus discipled, learning obedience by observing our obedience, and emulating us, his parents.
Obedience also comes from consistent training. The Moores suggest firm gentle nudges away from danger, looks, nods, and smiles. Positive rewards, and unhappy results (example given of confining a toddler to a playpen for unwanted behavior).
So, the two aspects of Preschool 101 are Discipling and Training.
Now, the Moores do not mention in this Manual the types of discipline to be used for the "unhappy results", however, we are referred to the LAST section in the manual, and told to read up under the heading "Child management" for further information about how to proceed with Preschool 101.
When we turn there, most of the "child management" section is talking about problems with older children ( 5-6 years old) rebelling against doing their schoolwork, and basic behavior problems. But we are referred to the Moores' book "Home Built Discipline", and told to concentrate on obedience first, before "school" can reconvene.
So, what DO the Moores say in their book "Home Built Discipline"? Now, we *could* really get off on a tangent here, as I am so infamous for doing, but I will just quickly give you their 10 Building Blocks of Sound Discipline.
1) Warm responsiveness and example
2) routine, regularity, and order
3) constructive work and play
4) service to others
5) camaraderie, courtesy, and communication
6) consistency and unity
7) learning how to think
8) encouragement and appreciation
9) health, including diet, dress, sleep, and exercise
10) management of money
Though obviously a 2 year old is not managing money, many of these ten are begun in preschool years.
Here are a few quotes from this first couple of chapters that really struck me as I re-read this book for the "hundredth millionth" time:
"Discipline is the automobile, and punishment is its brakes"
"Punishment should not be the main road to self-control"
[Three mistakes parents often make because they don't take the time to understand the developmental needs of children:] "1) they often make demands which their young cannot possibly meet, 2) they fail to set down consistent requirements which children can and should fulfill, and 3) they do not provide or allow for creative activities which may be different yet appropriate for their ages."
"These may require adults to make some changes and learn to stress guidance more than reproof."
"Discipline should be creative and seldom be punishment. Discipline should often be fun, while punishment is never enjoyable if we love our children."
"Discipline is the fine art of discipleship."
"Before deciding that corporal punishment is necessary, ask yourself these questions, "Have I been specific in my instruction in this matter? Have I considered my child's age and maturity level? Have I been gentle and patient, winning them more than ruling them? Does my life lead them or confuse them?"
And elsewhere in the book it reads:
“Three mistakes parents often make because they don't take the time to understand the developmental needs of children: 1) they often make demands which their young cannot possibly meet, 2) they fail to set down consistent requirements which children can and should fulfill, and 3) they do not provide or allow for creative activities which may be
different yet appropriate for their ages."
If you find yourself spending too much time spanking, ask yourself the above questions, plus ask yourself if you have truly established the anchors in your family life. Have you gotten relaxed in your routine? Have you been spending too much time away from home? Have you had a week full of late nights at the church conference? Has your child's diet been full of rich foods and candy, either due to holidays or birthday parties? Routine, Rest and Regularity need to be in place.
Preschool-102
The easiest homeschooling we will ever do! No lesson plans to prepare, no copious records to keep, and no declaration of intent to file with the superintendent!!
Prerequisite for preschool 102: Preschool 101!! Obedience comes first. If this hasn't been achieved, then it's back to Pre-school 101 until it is.
Parent's Manuals: The Holy Bible
Other books: Better Late Than Early, Home Grown Kids (both by the Moores)Other carefully selected materials to help parents
Additional Resources: Books from the church, library, friends, and all the wonderful resources offered by our communities such as zoos, parks,
beaches, flower gardens, and trails.
Classroom Environment:
Religious Education: Church, our own homes, family devotion time.
Home Economics: kitchen, laundry, etc.
Reading Lab: the couch, Mommy's lap, backyard swing
Social Studies: The community around us
Science Lab: Ponds, zoos, gardens, farms, our own backyard
Arts and Crafts: The kitchen table or the picnic table outside, and ample supplies of materials
Math Lab: The kitchen, the tool shed or workshop, the grocery store, the toy box
Personalized Curriculum: Developed by Mom and Dad, and guided by the interests of the children. Start with a daily schedule with anchors (bedtimes, mealtimes, naptimes, reading time, family devotions, and work time and play time). Work should not be interrupted by play, and play should not be interrupted by work.
Choose materials from the previous lists (I assume they mean in the unit studies section, and the above Classroom environment list). Some will be for special time alone with Mom or Older Sibling, and other times for independent play while Mom works with older children.
Developing Fine Motor Skills:
The Moores seem to be laughing a bit in this section, because they state that we are preoccupied with developing fine motor skills while raising a society lacking in active work and play that develops large motor skills [My thought: couch potatoes]. They also encourage leaving the Preschooling up to an older sibling if possible.
They then give a long list of activities for developing fine motor skills of toddlers, and believe it or not, these do not include tracing wavy lines and following mazy trails in workbooks! Instead it is a list of activities that toddlers naturally do during their play. Here are some examples:
Tearing paper and fabrics
Squeezing out sponges and rags
Playing with playdough
Opening jars
Legos, tinker toys, pop beads, etc.
Drawing in the mud with a stick
Puzzles
Dialing the toy telephone
Now, you might look at this list and wonder about it, but part of my physical therapy after I broke my wrist was squeezing a ball of playdough for 5 minutes every day (and it HURT to do that!), and washing dishes by hand three times a day! All the developing of fine motor skills means is being able to perform various tasks requiring small movements of the fingers and hands. Regaining that ability was very hard for me, but I can finally type on the computer at half my old speed (I used to type 90wpm, but now can type about 50wpm instead.)
Now, the Moores do suggest keeping a simple journal of learning moments, without getting too fancy.
Discussion/Confession Time:
My thoughts about preschool:
I found myself in a strange predicament a couple school years ago. I had two "older" kids, in third and sixth grades, but also had a 2.5 year old.
The first year of homeschooling with a mobile toddler under our feet, he would climb upon the school table and pull the pencils out of the children's hands as they tried to work. He colored on their workbooks when we weren't looking. We dreaded hearing him come from another room and say, "I do school too!" because we never knew what new "project" he would have created.
I was inspired by this section to create a learning environment for Aaron that second year of home schooling with a preschooler. I pulled out a lot of things I had packed away from Andrew's toddlerhood, like puzzles and spoon puppets, and have turned the bottom shelf of my school bookcase into Aaron's preschool storage shelf. We had paints and crayons and coloring books and puzzles and books to read and look at, and nearby was a box of toys that were ONLY for school time in the school room, such as pop beads, shape sorter, etc.
I also had another section for him in the playroom in the basement for the kids to take turns watching him down there so he wouldn't distract during the one-on-one time with each of the older ones. I would spend about 30 minutes with one child going over work and assigning table work while the other played with Aaron, then they would switch places so I could work with the other. Then, they would sit down together to do their assignments, and I would have Aaron help me around the house or read to him, etc.
By far our most challenging aspect of “preschool” with Aaron has been the obedience issue. The other two were relatively mild and complacent toddlers, but Aaron is the energy of 3 children rolled into one. We had been told we wouldn't have any more children, so Aaron is our blessing from God, but he is also my test from the Lord. He is much "busier" than the other two were at his age, (or maybe it is just that I am much older, and I have the other two to think about this time around...).
My own personal thoughts about the “discipline and obedience” issue raised here:
When we first discussed this section, there were lots of questions about other books written by Christian experts on the subject of child training. The Moores now even sell books by both the Pearls and the Ezzos.
However, Mrs. Moore herself wrote to me and told me that they sell those books mainly for families whose children are already out of control, and that they stand by their book “Home Built Discipline” as the standard, and if their methods are followed, such harsher methods are not necessary for most children.
I have read many books on child training, including the Pearls, and Trumbolts, and the Fugates, and the Tripps, and the Phillips, and the Moores. All I want to say is that no matter whose advice I follow, my husband and I are still responsible before God to train up our children in the way they should go, not the way someone else tells us. Even the Moores are not the experts concerning my children, I am. God gave them to us to train, not the Moores, even though I agree with almost everything the Moores say in their book, and have we have raised our children accordingly.
In my not-so-humble opinion, child training means spending far less time spanking than I do on my knees praying for that child. And spanking is only one very small aspect of discipling my child. Discipline comes from the word disciple. If I am spanking without prayer and reflection, then my spanking will not do anything except create anger in my child's heart.
So enough of that soap box.
What are your thoughts/struggles with Preschool the Moore-way? It is tough when people are suggesting that your precious baby would be better off in a preschool for 3 hours a day! I still get that, even though you would think that by now people would have figured out that we have chosen homeschooling as our way of life. |
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